I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) By Locality "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) By Locality
The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time By Locality Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius By Locality
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... "The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell By Locality We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison By Locality
ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) By Locality In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason By Locality
It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams By Locality Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer By Locality
"You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend By Locality Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows By Locality
An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. By Locality To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare By Locality
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha By Locality Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) By Locality
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso By Locality I have read your book and much like it.
-- Moses Hadas, book reviewer "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II By Locality
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach By Locality "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) By Locality
Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson By Locality I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By Locality
