When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same
thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) By County A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld By County
"If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) By County The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 By County
Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield By County "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin By County
All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec By County When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw By County
If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken By County "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens By County
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous blah "Ideas are like stars, you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and, following them, you reach yo By County Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson blah "There is a melancholy that stems from greatness." (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort, 1740/41-1794) By County
There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry By County The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) By County
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) By County Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin By County
Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare By County "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber By County
We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner By County "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker By County
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be By County A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire By County
