Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Bands and Artists You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous Bands and Artists
Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) Bands and Artists "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide Bands and Artists
Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Bands and Artists "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Bands and Artists
When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) Bands and Artists Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) Bands and Artists
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint.
-- Robert Browning I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant Bands and Artists They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland Bands and Artists
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman Bands and Artists My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright Bands and Artists
"When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Bands and Artists blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley Bands and Artists
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) Bands and Artists He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce Bands and Artists
It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry
that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Bands and Artists The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Bands and Artists
Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of
fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality
and Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon Bands and Artists Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Bands and Artists
If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry
that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland Bands and Artists Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce Bands and Artists
