If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual By Region I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford By Region
Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers By Region In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) By Region
The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd By Region A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday By Region
The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By Region It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By Region
There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz By Region Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck By Region
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Pancho Villa, dying words Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous By Region "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic By Region
"Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin By Region Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud By Region
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis By Region Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous By Region
"See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West By Region No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein By Region
"If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert By Region "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) By Region
blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West By Region The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) By Region
