"When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov Styles The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign Styles
Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews Styles Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Styles
"The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in
a car he sticks his head out the window.
-- Steve Bluestone Styles We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Styles
The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green Styles "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Styles
Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) Styles A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan Styles
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Styles It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Styles
"Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Styles It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Styles
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop Styles Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature
intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times
worse tha For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Styles
It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Styles "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells Styles
The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana Styles Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Styles
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger Styles "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Styles
