"It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time By County "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman I have read your book and much like it.
-- Moses Hadas, book reviewer By County
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche By County Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea By County
"One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein By County It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 By County
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses By County The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain By County
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.
-- King Vidor, in the 1928 film, The Crawl "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe By County It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President By County
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac By County I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be By County
Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach By County In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence By County
Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous By County There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer By County
Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy By County To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland By County
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 By County When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein By County
Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw By County Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker By County
