If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. By Region "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde By Region
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.
-- Blaise Pascal, Thoughts, Chap. x. 1., Translated by O. W. Wight By Region The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black By Region
History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey By Region May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford By Region
People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) By Region To be able to say how much love, is love but little.
-- Petrarch The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker By Region
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
- Ian L. Fleming A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous By Region "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau By Region
Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner To be able to say how much love, is love but little.
-- Petrarch By Region Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) By Region
Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint.
-- Robert Browning I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower By Region The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. By Region
If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley By Region Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx By Region
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) By Region Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe By Region
For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw By Region While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara By Region
"It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson By Region Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! By Region
