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The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. - Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. -- Howard Aiken Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title. -- Virginia Woolf Clubs and Venues "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two. -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get what they want. -- David Mamet Clubs and Venues Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. -- Woody Allen "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character. -- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig Clubs and Venues "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. -- August Strindberg Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country. -- Typewriting exercise Clubs and Venues It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated. -- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have. -- William Hazlitt The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. -- Harper Lee I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not. -- Robert G. Ingersoll Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig. -- Anon. Clubs and Venues The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. -- Paul Ehrlich The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. -- Albert Einstein Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage. -- Ambrose Bierce Clubs and Venues You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. -- Jonathan Carroll, Outside "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent. -- Michel de Montaigne "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Clubs and Venues The important thing is not to stop questioning. -- Albert Einstein As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. -- Abraham Lincoln There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran Clubs and Venues The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules. -- Elting E. Morison I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. -- Rodney Dangerfield "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. -- Olin Miller Clubs and Venues The important thing is not to stop questioning. -- Albert Einstein "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The- Box. -- Wil Shriner Clubs and Venues Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses. -- Anon. blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Love is stronger than justice. -- Sting "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous. -- Bill Moyers Clubs and Venues There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. -- Benjamin Disraeli If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine. I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. -- Groucho Marx Clubs and Venues Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. -- Wernher Von Braun I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. -- James Matthew Barrie Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people. -- Oscar Wilde The wise see knowledge and action as one; they see truly. -- Bhagava Gita Clubs and Venues "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want, and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion. -- Fred Astaire Vote early and vote often. - Al Capone Clubs and Venues When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. -- Laurence J. Peter Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin... -- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it. -- George Bernard Shaw A man in the house is worth two in the street. -- Mae West Clubs and Venues The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. - Henry Kissinger The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. -- Niels Bohr Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. - Ambrose Bierce Clubs and Venues "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. -- Gail Godwin A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. -- Michel de Montaigne "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart Clubs and Venues "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition. -- Walter Prager I shall return. -- General Douglas MacArthur Clubs and Venues Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available. -- Jim Beggs Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried. -- G. K. Chesterton Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny is but th "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken Clubs and Venues "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the Clubs and Venues If we don't change the direction we are going, We are likely to end up where we are heading. -- Chinese saying To be able to say how much love, is love but little. -- Petrarch The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate men. -- Henry B. Adams Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another hanging on to his coattails. -- H. L. Mencken Clubs and Venues Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. -- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting married "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening Clubs and Venues
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