Reading Travel Information - Information on traffic and travel in the Reading area and the M4 in the Thames Valley.
I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller Transport Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon Transport
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
-- Lyn Karol "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) Transport We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Transport
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler Transport Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Transport
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan Transport "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Transport
Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law Transport Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Transport
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus Transport Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
Transport
Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Transport Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Transport
Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) Transport Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Transport
"Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Transport The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) "The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) Transport
"A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison Transport "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln Transport
>From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Transport The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Transport
