I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous Arts and Entertainment Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Arts and Entertainment
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose
-- Jim Elliott Arts and Entertainment If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Arts and Entertainment
To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) Arts and Entertainment "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Arts and Entertainment
Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Arts and Entertainment May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert Arts and Entertainment
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
-- Kenneth H. Olson, President of DEC, Convention of the World Future Society, 1977 I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Arts and Entertainment Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Arts and Entertainment
An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Arts and Entertainment Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Arts and Entertainment
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth "What is most appealing about young folks, after all, is the changes, not the still photograph of finished character but the movie, the soul in flux." (Thomas Pynchon) Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov Arts and Entertainment Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden Arts and Entertainment
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" Arts and Entertainment "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) blah "There is a melancholy that stems from greatness." (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort, 1740/41-1794) Arts and Entertainment
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 Arts and Entertainment "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Arts and Entertainment
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus Arts and Entertainment In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Arts and Entertainment
You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous Arts and Entertainment Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach Arts and Entertainment
