Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Government Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Government
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Government Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla Government
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 Government None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Government
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers Government I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw Government
"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." (Michael Douglas, as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street, 1987) "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words Government In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Government
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Government I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder Government
"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde Government "Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson Government
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 Government I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Government
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken Government I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!" (Clive Staples Lewis) Government
If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Government There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Government
Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Government By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Government
