This is Slough - Online edition of the Slough and Langley Observer.
I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig News and Media "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin News and Media
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' News and Media This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin News and Media
If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) News and Media Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed News and Media
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz News and Media "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata News and Media
Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash News and Media That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton News and Media
For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt News and Media Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp News and Media
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous News and Media Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) News and Media
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb It's important to be open-minded, but not SO open-minded that your brains fall out.
-- Rick Radebaugh Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln News and Media Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers News and Media
Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) News and Media They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) News and Media
I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor News and Media The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words News and Media
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pens&eactue;es, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux News and Media It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair News and Media
