"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Buckinghamshire Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Spinster: A bachelor's wife. If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein Buckinghamshire
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel Buckinghamshire Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Buckinghamshire
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin Buckinghamshire Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. Buckinghamshire
"It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Buckinghamshire A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr Buckinghamshire
Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
Buckinghamshire Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Buckinghamshire
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Buckinghamshire I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) Buckinghamshire
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa Buckinghamshire "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back Buckinghamshire
The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Buckinghamshire Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. Buckinghamshire
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright The soul is healed by being with children.
-- Fyodor Dostoyevski This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl Buckinghamshire "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman Buckinghamshire
Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Buckinghamshire The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Buckinghamshire
"A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) Buckinghamshire Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner Buckinghamshire
