Amersham Swimming Club - Features information about all club activities, including news, joining information, diary and results. The club caters for diving, water polo, learn-to-swim and competitive swimming including Masters.
"If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. "Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Recreation and Sports There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports
"No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989 "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign Recreation and Sports We have children because we want immortality and this is the most reliable way of getting it.
-- Woodrow Wyatt Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf Recreation and Sports
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. Recreation and Sports "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Recreation and Sports
Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson Recreation and Sports A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports
"I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken Recreation and Sports If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois Recreation and Sports
The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Recreation and Sports Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) Recreation and Sports
Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Recreation and Sports I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de Recreation and Sports
The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Recreation and Sports "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda Recreation and Sports
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
-- G. K. Chesterton Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Recreation and Sports Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart Recreation and Sports
If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Recreation and Sports Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. It is
thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart.
-- Henry Wadsworth Lo Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa Recreation and Sports
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Recreation and Sports Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Recreation and Sports
