You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) Agriculture He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Agriculture
If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973 A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Agriculture I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Agriculture
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Paul Ehrlich "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen Agriculture May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Agriculture
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt Agriculture "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell Agriculture
A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
-- Ed Howe There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Agriculture The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Agriculture
blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Agriculture "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood Agriculture
The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Agriculture Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin Agriculture
If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein Agriculture "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
-- Clare Boothe Luce Agriculture
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Agriculture "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe Agriculture
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller Agriculture There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Agriculture
Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan Agriculture blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Agriculture
