Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Computers and Internet When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Computers and Internet
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) Computers and Internet "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Marriage is a rest period between romances. Computers and Internet
"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." (Michael Douglas, as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street, 1987) .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Computers and Internet "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) "Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) Computers and Internet
Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Computers and Internet People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Computers and Internet
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson Computers and Internet It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William Computers and Internet
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics a Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Computers and Internet Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Computers and Internet
"Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther Computers and Internet In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) Computers and Internet
Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman Computers and Internet Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Computers and Internet
"To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire Computers and Internet "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Computers and Internet
We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Computers and Internet Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Computers and Internet
"If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) Computers and Internet "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Computers and Internet
