A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams "I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus Home and Garden He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Home and Garden
I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed Home and Garden If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry
that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous Home and Garden
To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words Home and Garden We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Home and Garden
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words Home and Garden "There are no uninteresting things, only uninteresting people." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, Home and Garden
"Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat "Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Home and Garden "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Home and Garden
"We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.
-- Charles Du Bos Home and Garden "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison Hell is other people.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Home and Garden
Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Home and Garden People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller "In every gathering of thirteen, expect one guest will turn out to be a Judas." (Aleister Crowley) Home and Garden
What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie My other wife is beautiful. Home and Garden A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Home and Garden
Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Home and Garden "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French Home and Garden
They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Home and Garden "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Home and Garden
If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Home and Garden If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb Home and Garden
