A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils Milton Keynes With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Milton Keynes
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner Milton Keynes When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Milton Keynes
.. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein Milton Keynes Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Milton Keynes
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words Milton Keynes "There are no uninteresting things, only uninteresting people." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley Milton Keynes
Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cæsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY Milton Keynes The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Milton Keynes
Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Milton Keynes "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov Milton Keynes
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in
a car he sticks his head out the window.
-- Steve Bluestone "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Milton Keynes "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) Milton Keynes
"From the start, marriage was instituted for contemptible, practical reasons--an idea of men." (Catherine Deneuve) The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Milton Keynes This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." (Michael Douglas, as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street, 1987) Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Milton Keynes
"God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
-- Benjamin Disraeli I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali Milton Keynes A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr Milton Keynes
"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Milton Keynes There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Milton Keynes
For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Milton Keynes I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) >From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud Milton Keynes
