Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia "I run to see who has the most guts." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Health "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau Health
The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Health "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Health
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins Health The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen Health
The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Health The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 Health
"To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) Health You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do
its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
-- Health
Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous Health "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Health
If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb Health "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Health
If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for
love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou Health What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous Health
I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago Health A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" Health
"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Health In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde Health
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-- Thomas Jefferson And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Health Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Health
