I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) By Region Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
-- Anonymous By Region
The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein By Region Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor By Region
The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By Region "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
-- G. K. Chesterton It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln By Region
We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain By Region "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) By Region
"Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) By Region If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer By Region
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) By Region Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) By Region
Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By Region "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay By Region
I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr By Region If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) By Region
You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous By Region "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken By Region
The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) By Region The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) By Region
They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun By Region May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau By Region
