"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. It is
thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart.
-- Henry Wadsworth Lo Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau By County We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) By County
"God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost By County Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short By County
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe By County Man and wife make one fool. I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt By County
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw By County Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain "When thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) By County
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. My other wife is beautiful. "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) By County "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) By County
Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp By County "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde By County
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) By County "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau By County
Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X By County Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan By County
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins By County A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne By County
"I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates By County I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. By County
Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint.
-- Robert Browning Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By County Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau By County
