When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel Investment Clubs Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one
of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman Investment Clubs
"I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Investment Clubs All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau Investment Clubs
"Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening Investment Clubs If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler Investment Clubs
"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Investment Clubs In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead Investment Clubs
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw "Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince Investment Clubs "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Investment Clubs
Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Investment Clubs Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller Investment Clubs
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Investment Clubs "The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) Investment Clubs
War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago Investment Clubs The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Investment Clubs
Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe Investment Clubs "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cćsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig Investment Clubs
Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
-- Lyn Karol If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves Investment Clubs "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner "I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) Investment Clubs
"I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Investment Clubs To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) Investment Clubs
