"My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Books "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died Books
We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago Books The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn Books
The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. Books When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.
-- King Vidor, in the 1928 film, The Crawl "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) Books
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt "And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson Books There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard
the past.
-- Maurice Maeterlink Books
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Books Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) Books
All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Books Spinster: A bachelor's wife. What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) Books
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first
comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last Books There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Books
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) Books To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
-- Anatole France Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton Books
Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Books For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Books
If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose
-- Jim Elliott The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 Books If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Books
Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
-- Clare Boothe Luce Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Books Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other
friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things:
and in that Books
