Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Cambridgeshire Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy Cambridgeshire
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers Cambridgeshire You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland Cambridgeshire
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw Cambridgeshire A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa Cambridgeshire
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) Cambridgeshire The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill Cambridgeshire
If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities,
talents, direction, missions, callings.
-- Abraham Maslow Cambridgeshire May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi Cambridgeshire
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Cambridgeshire There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux "Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. Cambridgeshire
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Cambridgeshire I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer Cambridgeshire
A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Cambridgeshire For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous Cambridgeshire
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Cambridgeshire Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Cambridgeshire
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton Cambridgeshire How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Cambridgeshire
Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Cambridgeshire The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Cambridgeshire
