Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to What's new? Most of my wife. blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) Clubs and Venues Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Clubs and Venues
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) Clubs and Venues The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler Clubs and Venues
Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. Clubs and Venues We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Clubs and Venues
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) Clubs and Venues The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Clubs and Venues
"What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) Clubs and Venues Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin Clubs and Venues
All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward Clubs and Venues In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau Clubs and Venues
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The wise see knowledge and action as one; they see truly.
-- Bhagava Gita Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Clubs and Venues The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings Clubs and Venues
"If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther Clubs and Venues The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Clubs and Venues
Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Clubs and Venues A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i Clubs and Venues
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Clubs and Venues "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Clubs and Venues
It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Clubs and Venues Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Clubs and Venues
