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"There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Employment Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Employment
"Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) Employment "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain Employment
I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) Employment Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words Employment
"Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Employment "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Employment
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein Employment "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Employment
"Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) Employment LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Employment
If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville Employment A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') Employment
"I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H Employment Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Employment
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) "What is most appealing about young folks, after all, is the changes, not the still photograph of finished character but the movie, the soul in flux." (Thomas Pynchon) Employment Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) Employment
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) Employment "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age.
-- Henry Kissinger Employment
"As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde "Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) Employment "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben Employment
