I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw Organisations I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Organisations
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Organisations "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Organisations
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben Organisations I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Organisations
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) Organisations Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher Organisations
If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Organisations "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur Organisations
Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may Organisations "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed Organisations
I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) "In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Organisations Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Organisations
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James Organisations "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Organisations
Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland Organisations Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar Organisations
Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Organisations Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal Organisations
"Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Organisations If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. Organisations
