If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Recreation and Sports "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Recreation and Sports
Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele Recreation and Sports In medieval times, people thought that evil spirits could enter a person through an open mouth.
These days they more often leave that way.
-- David Deckert Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Recreation and Sports
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt Recreation and Sports Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington Recreation and Sports
"The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly Recreation and Sports Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence Recreation and Sports
"As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux Recreation and Sports "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman Recreation and Sports
"The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) Recreation and Sports If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit Recreation and Sports
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-- Thomas Jefferson I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" "When thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Recreation and Sports Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Recreation and Sports
I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin Recreation and Sports Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin Recreation and Sports
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato Recreation and Sports Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed "The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless Recreation and Sports
What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken Recreation and Sports The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Recreation and Sports
blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Recreation and Sports Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Recreation and Sports
