Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By
giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you
will "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott Eaton Socon I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Eaton Socon
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley Eaton Socon "I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to
realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and
grie Eaton Socon
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. Eaton Socon A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Eaton Socon
A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Eaton Socon "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 Eaton Socon
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Eaton Socon "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) Eaton Socon
The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Eaton Socon "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz Eaton Socon
A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber Eaton Socon Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Eaton Socon
"I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Eaton Socon As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Eaton Socon
That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Eaton Socon I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Eaton Socon
I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous Eaton Socon "Good taste is the first refuge of the non-creative. It is the last-ditch stand of the artist." (Marshall McLuhan) Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold Eaton Socon
I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Eaton Socon "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Eaton Socon
