I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning Health "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Establishing yourself, furnishing a house, building up a comfortable existence, and having that menace hanging over your head all the time - no, I prefer to live in hotels, cafés, just passing through The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Health
"Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine Health Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Health
If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one
of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry Health "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Health
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais Health We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 Health
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson Health There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Health
Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments.
-- Rose Kennedy People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare Health "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas Health
A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.
-- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Health Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal Health
"I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens Health Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway Health
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune Health Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Health
The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Health If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig Health
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen Health The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith Health
