"People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner Sawston Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Sawston
In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet Sawston Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the
face of this earth.
-- Albert Einstein Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J Sawston
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein Sawston Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Sawston
"Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) Sawston "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl Sawston
Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos "Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain Sawston A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Sawston
Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Sawston If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown Sawston
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Sawston "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Sawston
Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Sawston If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed
-- Kate Halverson "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) Sawston
A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Sawston If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Sawston
Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. Sawston "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Sawston
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. Sawston The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon Sawston
