Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull Education He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning Education
If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Education Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Education
"I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham Education When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Education
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) Education If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur Education
There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Education "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Education
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do
its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
-- Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Education Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Education
"I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle Education We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because
generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton Education
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen Education "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Education
You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon Education "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Education
Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Education Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) Education
"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French Education A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce Education
