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Health Links

Grange House Surgery Hartlepool - NHS General Practice. Information about the practice for patients and resources for doctors, with links to pages about GP audit, protocols and other medical sites.

Ellwoods Fitness World - First class gym facilities for health and fitness. Facilities, benefits and customers. Run and owned by Eddy Elwood, Mr. Universe 1997-2000. Hartlepool.

BodyBalance Clinic - Provides professional sports injury therapy through holistic massage, offering stress relief and corporate programmes.

Hartlepool Mental Health - News and information about local services.

One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.... -- Robert Boynton "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower." "Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!" -- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. -- Steven Wright The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. -- Woody Allen I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it. -- Virginia Woolf Health If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything. -- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) D Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Health "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. -- Stephen Leacock "In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get. -- John Watson, University of Canterbury I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Health "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? -- Benjamin Disraeli Hell is other people. - Jean-Paul Sartre Health I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was doing spying. -- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open. -- Thomas Dewar Health Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four. -- Katharine Hepburn You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality. -- Hermann Weyl After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations. -- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare Health "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the lev The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. -- Woody Allen "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true. -- Neils Bohr Health What luck for the rulers that men do not think. -- Adolf Hitler I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. -- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Health Man and wife make one fool. This book fills a much-needed gap. - Moses Hadas in a review Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. -- Anonymous The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted. -- Anonymous Health Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you r We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher. -- Socrates Health I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age. -- Henry Kissinger I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. -- Ed Bluestone The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one is. -- Arnold Bennett I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. -- Mae West "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) Health In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. -- Adlai Stevenson By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost a fortune Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx Health "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Every flower must grow through dirt. -- Anonymous "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what may We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? - Niels Bohr Health Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. -- Anonymous No other success can compensate for failure in the home. -- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he LDS Church, April, 1964 Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development. -- Russell Baker Health Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art. -- Tom Stoppard Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely. -- Buddha Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction. -- John Cage I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do not allow Health Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want, and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion. -- Fred Astaire Health Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. -- Anonymous I could prove God statistically. -- George Gallup You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. -- Beverly Sills Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. -- Mark Twain "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) Health When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. - Friedrich Nietzsche A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. -- Edward Abbey "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) Health If you are going through hell, keep going. - Sir Winston Churchill All you need is love. -- The Beatles, song title There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it. -- Anonymous You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it. -- W.S. Gilbert If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? -- Jenny Weber Health "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from. -- Peter F. Drucker Sir, I would rather be right than be President. -- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure Health Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. -- Woody Allen May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. -- Bobcat Goldthwait Goodbye, Everybody! -- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson Health "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically! -- Steven Wright Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled? -- Pope Julius III Health
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