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If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Cornwall He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot Cornwall
You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Cornwall Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Cornwall
Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some
simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion.
-- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin Cornwall Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the
unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Cornwall
"Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Cornwall "I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender Cornwall
When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) Cornwall Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Cornwall
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed
-- Kate Halverson Cornwall Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus Cornwall
Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Cornwall Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) Cornwall
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller Cornwall "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein Cornwall
All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) Cornwall Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Cornwall
You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Cornwall If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce Cornwall
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Cornwall We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Cornwall
