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UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) Arts and Entertainment Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Arts and Entertainment
It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Arts and Entertainment "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Arts and Entertainment
I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Arts and Entertainment Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell Arts and Entertainment
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Arts and Entertainment Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre Arts and Entertainment
Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Arts and Entertainment Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Arts and Entertainment
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Arts and Entertainment Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Arts and Entertainment
I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) "I feel I have to protect myself against things. So I'm pretty careful to lose most of them." (George Orson Welles) Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good Arts and Entertainment I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary Arts and Entertainment
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton Arts and Entertainment Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson Arts and Entertainment
Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point "Think off-center." (George Carlin) It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature.
-- Henry James Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Arts and Entertainment It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) Arts and Entertainment
"I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein Arts and Entertainment The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant "The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Arts and Entertainment
Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Arts and Entertainment "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Arts and Entertainment
