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Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale Motoring Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Motoring
"Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Motoring My other wife is beautiful. I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Motoring
While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Motoring An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca Motoring
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters Motoring The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) Motoring
"Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Motoring You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Motoring
In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Motoring Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) Motoring
One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.
-- King Vidor, in the 1928 film, The Crawl "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) Motoring In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles Motoring
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar Motoring "Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but the first salutation to the possibilities of the immense Remote, the Wild, the Watery, the Unshored..." (Herman Melville, I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado Motoring
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Motoring May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence Motoring
"All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan "What is most appealing about young folks, after all, is the changes, not the still photograph of finished character but the movie, the soul in flux." (Thomas Pynchon) Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Motoring "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Motoring
Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call
me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
-- Rebecca West, If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands Motoring The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg Motoring
