The North East Forum - An interactive discussion forum for The North East of England and surrounding areas.
He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber County Durham "I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz County Durham
Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) County Durham Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon County Durham
To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous County Durham Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married County Durham
"In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 County Durham Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) County Durham
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. County Durham I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) County Durham
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) County Durham Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare County Durham
"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN County Durham English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. It is
thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart.
-- Henry Wadsworth Lo I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous County Durham
I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa "Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George County Durham Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein County Durham
All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 County Durham "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken County Durham
"To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn County Durham "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) People say "I want peace." If you remove I {ego}, and your want {desire}, you are left with peace.
-- Satya Sai Baba Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker County Durham
Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett County Durham Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart County Durham
