The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Transport An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Transport
Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Transport A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Transport
"There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb Transport "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure Transport
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, Transport While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi Transport
"Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Transport The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Transport
I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer Transport Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time It's important to be open-minded, but not SO open-minded that your brains fall out.
-- Rick Radebaugh "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) Transport
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein Transport I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Transport
If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" Transport "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Transport
May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe Transport In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis Transport
"Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom Transport All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire Transport
"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Transport Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Transport
