Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Durham City When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt Durham City
Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of
pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill Durham City I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) Durham City
"The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as
possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had Durham City "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr Durham City
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r Durham City I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Durham City
I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Durham City You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Durham City
No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein Durham City There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) Durham City
"What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Durham City "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal Durham City
"Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason Durham City He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill Durham City
Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.
-- Charles Du Bos There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Durham City "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Durham City
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams Durham City It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Durham City
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) "Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen Durham City It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Durham City
