Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda Middleton St George Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem Middleton St George
A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard "People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult." (Anne All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw Middleton St George "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken Middleton St George
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Middleton St George I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Middleton St George
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Middleton St George Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Middleton St George
"It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) blah "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." (Milton Berle) Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
-- Michael Winner Middleton St George Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner Middleton St George
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar Middleton St George Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w Middleton St George
Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin Middleton St George The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb Middleton St George
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Middleton St George Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill Middleton St George
English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Middleton St George "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Middleton St George
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Middleton St George Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Middleton St George
He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose
-- Jim Elliott No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Middleton St George My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) Middleton St George
