The Cumbria Directory: Carlisle - Traveler's guide to Cumbria and the Lake District. Includes business and accommodation listings, and tourist attractions.
The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen Carlisle An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Carlisle
Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Carlisle Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Carlisle
"The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides Carlisle "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) Carlisle
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, Carlisle Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper Carlisle
The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost Carlisle Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. Carlisle
Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Carlisle "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill Carlisle
"God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux Carlisle I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Carlisle
"There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer Carlisle To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Carlisle
"Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Carlisle If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous Carlisle
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II Carlisle University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst Carlisle
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Carlisle A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. Carlisle
