St Paul's Medical Centre - Large general practice offering a wide range of health services. Repeat prescriptions can be ordered on-line.
Carlisle Hospital Radio Echo - Radio Echo (East Cumbria Hospitals Radio) is Carlisle's own hospital broadcast system, which exists to provide a service to patients in hospital in the Carlisle area, and which is entirely manned by volunteers.
BedMonitors.com - Communication aids (call monitors, bed monitors) used in hospitals and at home for patients and care providers who cannot use conventional support equipment.
Hypnotherapy and Counselling - Dr Richard Bradley offers Hypnotherapy home visit service. Contact information the range of services are detailed.
David and Kathy Howe - Clinic offering massage, aromatherapy and deep tissue bodywork.
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley Health "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 Health
Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Health "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides Health
"For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Health A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) Health
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Health Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Health
The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Health You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Health
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Health While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin Health
Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Health "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) Health
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Health Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker Health
"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley Health We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller Health
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
-- Vince Lombardi Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. Health Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Health
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton Health "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen Health
