The Cumbria Directory Dalton-In-Furness - Traveler's guide to Cumbria and the Lake District. Includes business and accommodation listings, and tourist attractions.
Dalton-in-Furness Online - General guide to the town of Dalton-in-Furness in Cumbria. Includes town trail, history, attractions, small ads and information for locals and visitors.
The Askam Herald - The unofficial satirical online paper for the Parish of Askam and Ireleth.
Lindal and Marton Community Website - News and information for the villages of Lindal-in-Furness and Marton in South Cumbria. Contains news, events, organisations, history, and local business directory.
The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Dalton-in-Furness You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Dalton-in-Furness
If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Dalton-in-Furness There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Dalton-in-Furness
Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau Dalton-in-Furness Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Dalton-in-Furness
The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley Dalton-in-Furness Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived Dalton-in-Furness
"No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Dalton-in-Furness Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) Dalton-in-Furness
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise >From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Dalton-in-Furness There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) Dalton-in-Furness
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Dalton-in-Furness "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie Dalton-in-Furness
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr "The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) Dalton-in-Furness Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves Dalton-in-Furness
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Dalton-in-Furness Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides Dalton-in-Furness
Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Dalton-in-Furness There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) Dalton-in-Furness
blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Dalton-in-Furness Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician Dalton-in-Furness
