Cumbria Police Federation - A staff association for police officers below the rank of superintendent. News, guide to police regulations, members services and contacts.
Cumbria Constabulary - Comprehensive force detail, current information and profile, plans, campaigns, appeals and statistics, latest press releases and news.
Cumbria Magistrates Service - An in depth information guide to all aspects of the magistrates service in Cumbria. Information ranges from Cumbria court proceedings to performance statistics and even information on becoming a magistrate.
Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.
-- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor blah "There is a melancholy that stems from greatness." (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort, 1740/41-1794) I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold Police "Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Gertrude Stein, dying words Police
Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Police Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau Police
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Police "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Police
Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell Police "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg Police
"College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as
saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.
-- Deborah Tan Police When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Police
If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I
love you."
-- Erich Fromm Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon
them.
-- Anonymous Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Police Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire Police
Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Police The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash Police
"Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
-- Vince Lombardi Police The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin Police
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito Police Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous Police
Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Police We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Police
Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Police A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in
every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and Police
