The Cumbria Directory Longtown - Traveler's guide to Cumbria and the Lake District. Includes business and accommodation listings, and tourist attractions.
Welcome To Longtown - Guide to the North Cumbrian town from the Longtown Parish Council. Includes history, news, business directory, school and council information, and a community forum.
19th century Longtown - A history of 19th century Longtown, taken from the Carlisle Journal and Carlisle Patriot newspapers.
Memorial Inscriptions from Longtown - A collection of gravestone inscriptions from churchyards in the Longtown area of Cumbria, including Arthuret, Kirkandrews on Esk and Kirklinton.
"There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins Longtown If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa Longtown
To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes Longtown A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola Longtown
Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries Longtown Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen Longtown
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad Longtown "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) blah "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale Longtown
The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost Longtown The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Longtown
"Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de Longtown The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa Longtown
There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing
changes and yet everything is completely different.
-- Aldous Huxley "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) Longtown You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w Longtown
"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb Longtown If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) Longtown
And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde Longtown It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes blah "Ideas are like stars, you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and, following them, you reach yo Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Longtown
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt Longtown "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) Longtown
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first
comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Longtown Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Longtown
