Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot "Crime like death is not confined to the old and withered alone. The youngest and fairest are too often its chosen victims." (Charles Dickens, 1812-70, Oliver Twist) "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) Lorton You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By
giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you
will Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner Lorton
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain Lorton "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Lorton
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) Lorton If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine Lorton
The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson Lorton Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor Lorton
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) Lorton "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Lorton
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei "Crime like death is not confined to the old and withered alone. The youngest and fairest are too often its chosen victims." (Charles Dickens, 1812-70, Oliver Twist) Lorton Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) Lorton
"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cĉsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams Lorton Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Lorton
Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Lorton Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Lorton
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Gustav Jung To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other
friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things:
and in that Lorton When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery Lorton
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Lorton In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) Lorton
"...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) Lorton A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Lorton
