Kirkby Lonsdale Golf Club - A par 72 parkland course situated in one of the most picturesque parts of the country. Close to the Lake District and the Yorkshire Dales.
The Penrith Golf Centre - A new executive par 30 golf course - featuring holes of varying difficulty.
Dunnerholme Golf Club - Ten hole links course running along the side of the Duddon Estuary, Askam-in-Furness, with views to the Lake District Mountains.
Eden Golf Club Seniors - The Senior Golfers of Eden Golf Club, their competitions photographs and news letter.
Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau Golf The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer Golf
What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Although the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.
-- Led Zeppelin, Ten Years Gone "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Golf The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Golf
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Golf Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first
comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last Golf
A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long Golf A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara Golf
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart Golf That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Golf
By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( Golf Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) Golf
"I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr Golf To be able to say how much love, is love but little.
-- Petrarch Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Golf
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Golf Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Golf
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." Golf "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Golf
Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost Golf The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
-- Anonymous Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost Golf
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Golf Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Golf
