Lakes College West Cumbria - Higher education college based in Lillyhall, between Workington and Whitehaven. Offering a variety of courses. Special section on Information Technology courses.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W Education Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Education
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde Education To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell Education
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Education If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Education
Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. Education "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Education
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde Education I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous Education
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) Education If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous Education
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Education "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Education
The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf Education I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Education
Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie Education Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain Education
Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) Education If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Education
More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Education "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem Education
