Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben Bamford It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I Bamford
Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973 "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud Bamford What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) Bamford
The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Bamford A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) Bamford
A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous Bamford The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb Bamford
Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge Bamford Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem Bamford
Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous Bamford Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel Bamford
It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Man and wife make one fool. Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck Bamford "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Bamford
"The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) "I feel I have to protect myself against things. So I'm pretty careful to lose most of them." (George Orson Welles) "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Bamford We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler Bamford
No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Bamford "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Bamford
Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle Bamford The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) Bamford
"Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker Bamford Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Bamford
