"Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
-- Gandhi Industries "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show Industries
"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville Industries "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Industries
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun The worth of the state, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.
-- John Stuart Mill If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Industries Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. Industries
"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Industries I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu Industries
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon Industries Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous Industries
"The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa Industries blah "There is a melancholy that stems from greatness." (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort, 1740/41-1794) What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) Industries
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) Industries "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Industries
In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer Industries Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Industries
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 Industries Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide Industries
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Spinster: A bachelor's wife. "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi Industries "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed
-- Kate Halverson Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan Industries
They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) Industries Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton Industries
